The Bible Abridged
The Christian Bible: the book of stories and guidelines that shaped the western and, in a lot of ways, the whole world. And it's completely nuts. I go through the "holy" texts and retell the stories in all their crazy nonsense for the world to see just how nuts they all actually are.
The Bible Abridged
Ep 56 - The End of David
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Jay Winston
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Season 10
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Episode 6
David returns to Jerusalem after Absalom's death only to have another civil war break out immediately under a guy named Sheba. Joab took quick care of this. He met peacefully with Sheba, kissed him on the lips, grabbed his beard, and then sliced his belly open, spilling his intestines everywhere.
When Joab approached Sheba's city of Abel Beth Maacah, Joab told a random old lady that if they give him Sheba's head, he wouldn't burn down their city. The old lady obliged.
After this David dealt with a famine by having a bunch of Saul's children and grandchildren murdered and sacrificed in a field and then he sang a song.
