The Bible Abridged
The Christian Bible: the book of stories and guidelines that shaped the western and, in a lot of ways, the whole world. And it's completely nuts. I go through the "holy" texts and retell the stories in all their crazy nonsense for the world to see just how nuts they all actually are.
Podcasting since 2022 • 56 episodes
The Bible Abridged
Latest Episodes
Ep 55 - The Fall of Absalom
David (having been overthrown by his very hairy and sexy son) was staying out in the wilderness a few miles from Jerusalem. He started making friends with the locals and he, alongside his loyalists, started building an army up, just in case Abs...
February 26, 2024
•
Season 10
•
Episode 5
•
8:00
Ep 54 - The Rise of Absalom
After Absalom's brother rapes their sister, he has him killed. David is upset about this for some reason and Absalom is banished out... like 10 miles away. David's General, Joab, convinces David to allow Absalom to return after a few years and ...
February 17, 2024
•
Season 10
•
Episode 4
•
8:06
Ep 53 - David and Bathsheba
When King David learned that their rival neighbors, who the Israelites had allegedly already wiped off the face of the Earth twice, the Ammonites, had lost their king, he decided to send a couple diplomats over to pay his respects. When the dip...
February 05, 2024
•
Season 10
•
Episode 3
•
7:22
Ep 52 - Israel and Judah Unite.
As soon as General Abner died, two raider gang leaders decided to regicide Ish-Bosheth, making Israel temporarily king-less. Soon after, however, they all swore allediance to King David and poured oil all over his head. David thanked the raider...
January 28, 2024
•
Season 10
•
Episode 2
•
8:06
Ep 51 - King David and the Civil War
News comes to David that Saul and Jonathan are dead. David tears his clothes off, mourns, has the messenger killed, sings a song for them, and then returns to Hebron in Judah. Upon arrival in Judah, oil is dumped all over his head and word spre...
December 18, 2023
•
Season 10
•
Episode 1
•
9:58