The Bible Abridged
The Christian Bible: the book of stories and guidelines that shaped the western and, in a lot of ways, the whole world. And it's completely nuts. I go through the "holy" texts and retell the stories in all their crazy nonsense for the world to see just how nuts they all actually are.
The Bible Abridged
Ep 51 - King David and the Civil War
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Jay Winston
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Season 10
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Episode 1
News comes to David that Saul and Jonathan are dead. David tears his clothes off, mourns, has the messenger killed, sings a song for them, and then returns to Hebron in Judah. Upon arrival in Judah, oil is dumped all over his head and word spreads around that Oily Dave, as they called him, was now the king.
Unfortunately, Saul's old General, Abner, had declared Saul's son Ish-Bosheth to be king, starting a civil war between Israel and Judah. After a while, Ish-Bosheth pisses Abner off, Abner switches sides, and David's Commander, Joab, kills him. David was also knocking up any woman that passed by him apparently, having six kids with six different women.
